Progressive straight guys like to brag about how fat and ugly their partners are. You see it a lot when a feminist discusses the cultural construction of beauty, and how men tend to buy into it to a greater or lesser extent. We do, really, anything from refusing outright to consider a relationship with someone who doesn't meet the criteria, to unconsciously paying less attention to women who are less conventionally attractive. As well as making the usual assumptions about the beautiful, the plain, and the ugly. I knew in college an occasional model who complained that people looked at her and expected her to be a stuck-up bitch.
Usually it's over fatness in particular. Richard Roeper, who works with Roger Ebert and can't bear to be around obese people, touched off a round last year. Part of the problem -- a consequence of the fact that men do buy into it, even when we try not to -- is that women can't really opt out of the whole fucking mess. Even women who are happy with how they look are constantly told they shouldn't be. And men who aren't interested in weighing someone as a means of judging her character or determining chemistry are told they should. That's what those fat ugly women's progressive husbands and boyfriends are reacting to.
Even in progressive circles, however, I've seen it referred to as a "fetish." You see, there's normal sexuality -- desiring the blonde, thin, hairless, silicone-enhanced ideal presented to us by the media -- and then there's fetishism, which is anyone else. Since it's clearly false to tell someone that if she differs from the ideal, she'll never get a man (like that's an important goal), we fall back on the next best thing, saying any man she does get will be sexually weird, if he lusts after an unappealing lump of flesh like her.
And a fetish, of course, is sexual. These women are supposedly unloveable from the first. The best they can hope for is the attentions of a sex-lunatic who dares deviate from the enforced ideal. Love is out of the question.
Just as gay men are told their desires aren't real, that they're simply going through a phase or expressing rebellion, men who like women not in Playboy are told that their desires aren't sincere. They're the products of a disturbed mind. It's an alternative sexuality, different from the center.
Only there is no center.