It seems the War on Christmas has apparently found a new target: Independence Day.
You see, people keep calling it "Fourth of July," and that won't do. After all, Wikipedia lists 50 separate events, not counting births or deaths, that occurred on July 4th. And that's just the English-language edition1. People who merely celebrate July Fourth could be observing anything: Lou Gehrig's retirement, the canonization of St. Ulrich of Augsburg, the Battle of Hattin, etc. Some partisans might be ignoring the rest of the United States and noting only that Providence, R.I., was formed on July 4, 1636.
In fact, some people setting off fireworks in your very town might well have been celebrating a step backwards for freedom, the 1712 quashing of a slave uprising in New York.
Not that "Independence Day" doesn't have its own problems. There are 192 countries in the world, most of which have declared independence from someone at some point. Indeed, three countries -- Cape Verde, Algeria, and Venezuela -- celebrate their independence on July 5th.
Maybe the best name would be "Most Wonderful Country In The World Day." No controversy there.
1As of 9:27 A.M. Eastern. One of the listed events is the U.S. bicentennial.