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September 27, 2006



I think the underlying problem is empathy, or the lack thereof. Sure, someone who's simply not been around (fill in your population) so much may blunder and make a faux pas; that is etiquette. and once the tears and recriminations are out of the way, assuming all parties are basically sane and decent people, communications can still continue and improve.

but if someone is telling you directly, "Look, don't call me/us this," and you keep insisting on calling 'em what -you- want to call 'em, on account of (fill in your justification): you know what, that's actually symptomatic of a deeper problem than "used wrong word."

as for the above-cited example...egh, hard to know. it sounds like the parentals have one face in public and another in private. the fact that they're apparently racist in private doesn't wipe out their good deeds, no; but knowing this about them would not make me particularly eager to trust them, much less get to know them, I have to say.

but yeah, generally, in the reverse situation (i.e. people who very carefully avoid overtly racist terms but act appallingly--and probably speak in code, you know), sure: "by their fruits you will know them."

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